sunny :)

A feeling so deep that can happen so fast

it opens your eyes, to realise life and its worth is so vast

to feel a connection that ultimately makes you feel complete

a cross between drowning yet feeling solid and strong on your feet

its not but a feeling but a time that stands still

where all that you were can never again be what you will

it takes a mere second and though you did not seek

forever here on its with your heart you will speak

it rarely takes words but will always make sense

brings with it a feeling one can only describe as intense

being by your side

their is no reason to hide

i am but myself but amplified out loud

is that feeling of love, you make me feel proud.

Advertisements

Adventure is out their.

Gathergrowdevelop, a wonderful concept. A concept valuing freedom, oppurtunity equality and happiness. A concept i have dreamed up over years of self reflection and aessesment of myself, my enviroment, my wants and my needs. Not at any point does financial security nor economic safety cross my mind.

Yet once again, i find myself pursuing the one thing that has aluded me for years. This pursuit causing friction in my mental heath, creativity, happiness. Leaving me unbalanced,raining on my spirit and drowning my soul.

If you have followed my first blog post to now, which the posts unfortunately have been few and far between you will understand that the flame has fortuntaly not brned out, but has definatly been damped down.

I think of what maybe i could have done differently,why has my journey been so difficult. Then i realise that any journey that is truely rewarding is a journey filled with challenges and obstacles. And overall oppurtuniies to learn and grow.

I have decided it is once again time to take the leap toward freedom and happiness. A once again loosely planned adventure, another under funded optomistic crack at the whip of simpliticity. I long for an enormously exciting life of travel, meeting beautiful people, exchanging ideas stories and dreams. Visiting amazing places and soaking up the inspiration and energy enriched deep in the fertile soils of nature.

In six weeks time I will once again have my wallet light but my pockets heavy and full of dreams. As I hed to spain to enjoy a section of the camino di santiago. A journey my dad recommended I take when I was in my late teens, maybe even early 20s. I think of all the other suggestions he has offered me over the years, of which I ignored, suggestions had I followed probably would have been very worthwhile in my life today. But it is time to finish up job number 23, the job I finally stuck out for more than 10 months, but 14 months in and the novelity of living in a new country have well and truely worn off. And working for money still doesnt seem to pay off.

Their has to be more out their, communities, voluntary roles, simple short term jobs to keep you moving, in a flow and in a position to grow.

Anybody reading this with any advice on living sustainably, places to see or visit, or just a friendly piece of advice or motivation for a young read bearded man feel free to comment or email. Would be greatly appreciated. Our if you would just like to follow the journey, of which I intended to report with regular blog updates then click follow and lets adventure through the rocky terrains of modern day society together! or anyone out their rocking the vanlifestyle looking for an eager apprentice feel free to hit me up.

Have you had a good day,a long day,or a great day?

SMILE

Tomorrow I will

Tomorrow ill start

ill give it a go

stick to a plan

turn up to the show

but why do i cancel

its like life is on repeat

what is it i have not found

why can i not compete

strive for the stars

youll at least reach the tree

but to fall from the branch

and seemingly never learn

where is the freedom i desperatey yearn

it does not invove money

so why do i try all the time

to work for something

that wont allow me shine

their must be a way

a place i can find

to turn up to the show

and make the night mine.

Be great be grateful

Here is the opening two chapters to a short story I’ve been working on. I am 6 chapters in and have experienced a total block. Any feedback on the first 2 chapters would be greatly appreciated. (No pun intended:) )
Chapter 1. Follow your Gut
“My website Begreatbegrateful.com proposes to be a revolutionary website connecting people of Ireland . The website will primarily have 2 main webpages with a number of sub pages in each category. The two categories are “spark a dream” and “share the load”. “Spark a dream” will allow small and local business owners share their stories, give motivation and helpful tips and perhaps even mentor up and coming entrepreneurs.  Weary  future entrepreneurs can connect in a friendly and welcoming environment, pitch their ideas, and seek investment or help from people  who have already been through the exciting yet terrifying journey of entrepreneurship. The focus here is to encourage more and more people to take the chance and open a nice little cafe or bakery, restaurant, boutique clothes shop etc. It is my belief that having many more of these homegrown local businesses is the key to a brighter economic future in Ireland.
And why stop their?  I believe in a brighter Ireland for all. “Share the load” is crowdfunding with a twist. their will be what i call “blind crowdfunding” where people who have been financially struggling can crowd fund for a well deserved holiday, new car upgrade or to soften the back to school burden and apply for help with new books and school clothing. Local homeless communities, youth projects and mental health organisations in need of funding can set up an ongoing project in which the general public can donate at anytime.
My website is about eliminating fear and financial worries, inspiring more small start ups and local businesses, encouraging a more even distribution of money and opportunity in the country. the country aswell as contributing to the mental health,homeless and poverty crises that are rampant in the country.”
So What do you reckon?” Brendan asked work colleague Sinead, excitedly expecting her to be as optimistic as he was about the project.
“Thats your answer, thats your big idea on how to get us all out of minimum wage and shit hours” She laughed “ Your smoking to much man, time to lay down the pipe for awhile my friend, i have to hurry back only have 3 minutes before my away from desk time begins to run over and I’m already 6 minutes over this week” She shouted as she hurried away to get back to her desk on time, fearing that another 4 minutes over the next 2 days will mean a penalty of 15 minutes wages.
Thats exactly my fuckin point he thought to himself as he sat their reading over his provincial email and slowly finishing his espresso macchiato, hoping it would never finish as it burned in the back of his head that once the macchiato was finished he must return to his desk to endure another 3 hours of pain stakingly miserable phonecalls. Call after call after call.
No sooner after logging back into ACCESS  Mr.Webber approached “Are you on a call Brendan?” he asked. Jesus Darren man, you’ve seen that I’ve barely touched the seat, of course I’m not on a fuckin call ya prick! He thought to himself. “Not yet, just back from my half hour break” He politely answered.
“A quick word in my office” He declared as he already began to make his way back to office, his big luxury office set in at the back of the first floor of the call centre.
So Brendan, Mr.Webber asked “Do you know why I called you in here?
“My promotion I reckon, but save your breath sir,I’ve no interest in moving up the ranks here I’m quite happy with rotting away on these calls, i don’t need the added pressure of making the lives of my floor colleagues even more miserable,” He joked knowing full well that it was in relation to a call he had taking during the week.
Do you find this find funny? Mr. Webber replied.
Funny? Their is absolutely nothing funny about what we do here Darren, Its legal robbery. Were lying to the population of the country, and getting paid for it.
Whats that supposed to mean?
at this point Brendan seized his opportunity to be offered his first and last weeks wage and didn’t hold back, more or less confirming the termination of his contract.
Ah come on Darren man, this hole sharade is a fucking farce, I’m not going too stand for it anymore, especially for this measly $1250 a month. You’ve called me in here because you listened back on my call with Dorothy Malone during the week, Am i right?
“Exactly! Mr Webber exclaimed as began to rise to brendans outburst. That call was an absolute disgrace. You cannot Speak to clients like that.”
Brendan interrupted Mr.Webber. Noticing that Mr.Webber was becoming agitated he decided to continue to rile him up, Brendan using the emotion of his last 6 months, his hatred for his job and his passion for his business idea as motivation to continue the dispute.
Like what? I told the poor old woman the truth. How do you live with yourself? We haven’t drawn up any elderly and special needs decliration, their is absolutely no relief plan for those who need, and Dorothy Malone needs it. How do you sleep at night?
Mr.Webber began to lift in his chair. “You cannot advise customers of this, you’ve completely broken the terms of company employment.
“Well if those are the terms of employment, a government run initiative, then theirs a much bigger problem in this country then I thought.”
I don’t think this is working out Brendan, for your sake and most definitely for our sake I’m afraid were going to have to terminate your contract, your attitude will not be tolerated around here.” Mr. Webber announced as he began to relax back into his chair.
“Thats no problem at all Sir, have a good day” Brendan replied graciously, “And if I were you id start saving, this time next year you are mort definitely going to be out of a job, just wait you’ll see.
Chapter 2. Tension 
“What do you mean you had to stand up to him?” Martin, Brendans dad asked furiously. You’d want to come down off whatever cloud your floating around on and get in touch with the real world!” Martin a project manager with a large computer company had recently been laid off and with his age going against him was finding it increasingly difficult to gain employment.
“Im going to talk to Jim in the warehouse and see if we can get you in on an 11 month contract.”
 No chance dad, I’m sorry but theirs noway I’m going back to employment, especially with a corporate like EMC, their half the reason were in the situation were in, willy nilly contracts, and you of all people should see where I’m coming from, have you learned nothing from your ordeal of being made redundant out of the blue?
Marie, Brendans mother stepped up, “Martin go on down along for a drink and il collect you at half 10”
“Im telling you Martin, you don’t realise the shitstorm were in financially here, your going to take that job or any offer that comes in between. If you think your going to lounge around my house unemployed living on the benefit than you have another thing coming” Martin proclaimed as he left the room.
“Sit down Brendan and ill make you a cupa, don’t mind your father, he means well but he’s really feeling the strain over the past few weeks. As Marie brewed a pot of barry tea and produced a packet of chocolate chip cookies she asked ” So this website Brendan, whats it all about?”
“Cheers mum” Brendan replied as he drew a breath over the steaming cupa to cool it down before he took his first sip. “Well I have this idea, which i feel could really work. I want to basically create a community where we can produce more local businesses, small shops cafes that kind of thing. Have people who have realised their dreams help people seeking to realise their dreams, give people like dad, who have been employed by the big companies to take a step back reflect and go out and create something for themselves. I think its madness the amount of people both young and old trapped in the 40 hour work cycle, earning the same money, having the same holiday time and basically just living for the 2 days off their employer chooses to give them. Its insane, its outdated and it needs to change.
“And why do you feel its so important that you change it?”
“Well because i feel I have a great idea which many many people can benefit from. I want to help people, simple as this. People helping people mum!” Brendan becoming excited as he explained to his mum his website idea. I know you don’t know much about social media, but social media is basically a foundation for narcissists. Everybody loves to share a meaningful quote, or a picture or a video that shows them in a compassionate empathetic light. I basically want to bring this virtual sharing to life, create a brand in which people are keen to share, and when they do it really creates a positive impact on people.  It will be like Facebook meets linkedin minus the bullshit.
“Well it sounds fantastic” Marie replied as she picked up Brendans now empty cup and brought it towards the dishwasher, “Ill have a chat with your father, well give it a few weeks and see how realistic this idea of yours is, but you’ll head down to the unemployment office first thing in the morning and sign on, you’ll need some sort of an income.
“Ya thats my plan i want to get down early because its always packed for the day if your not their early enough and id rather not spend the hole day their.
As Brendan left the kitchen his mother called him back “One last thing just before you    go, How exactly do you plan on building this website, you haven’t a clue about any of that kinda stuff”
“Yera, Where theirs a will theirs a way mum” He answered enthusiatically as he hurried up the stairs to his room.

Keep it real

At first, I was embarrassed for him. Then I briefly thought I could spare him the three euro he was short for his purchase. Yet It all seemed to happen so quick.

I had  noticed the jolly young character earlier on as he replaced white onions for red onions.  Laying down the white onions, unloading a cheery celebration amidst  picking up red onions before bouncing off enthusiastically down the next aisle.

Hmm, I figured, I’ve never seen anyone so excited about red onions. strange.

Approaching the check out desk i had noticed he hadn’t picked up more than a couple of groceries but was well stocked in the alcohol department. The young jolly man landed the cashier with a warming “hows your day?” and continued to pack the few groceries he had into his bag before announcing to the cashier that his case was full.

“Oh,” He said, ” How much is the case?”

It was written all over his face that he now realised he could not afford the beer, bananas,red onions and coconut milk.

“Shit”, he calmly exclaimed. “I thought I had some more cash on me. ”

Beginning to unload his small shop from his bag the cashier looked at him with a patient smile, holding back the anger she not only had with him, but at her situation in general. 19.45 on a Friday and here she was, working. Serving this happy chappy who thought he had more cash!

How much was the case again?” he asked.

ahh hes not putting back the groceries is he? I thought to myself.

“Shit right, i better return the few bits so and Ill take the case.!”

Politely, even enthusiastically this time the cashier smiled and exchanged the few groceries and re scanned the beer.

“Waaahey!”  “I even have 2 euro change” he exclaimed after the transaction was complete.

The cashier now beginning to warm to the young fellow advised that he could now afford at least the bananas and onions, To which he replied “Yera, I only came down for the bare essentials. I can pick them up during the week,!

As he bounced out of the store I couldn’t help myself. I told the cashier that I would be back in a moment and chased after the young lad making haste down the street.

Unsure wether i was worried for the young man, perhaps thinking he may have a sever drinking problem, or maybe I was intrigued how this young man, 15 years my elder could carry himself so well, be so full of happiness, and generally to leave off such a warming effect around him.

I had never seen that before, for someone to be short change and take it so lightly.

“Excuse Me!Excuse me young man”, I shouted as I chopped the ground between us. I couldn’t help but notice you left your groceries, and you took the case of beer.

“Yup”, he answered calmly, still not phased as to why I had made up ground with him.

“Well young man, you have an awful lot of beer, and you left your necessities in the store, is everything alright?”

“Perfect man, everything cool” he replied as he smiled. “I just figure, Do whats best for now, and the rest will fall into place. “Those onions will be their tomorrow. But Im only having friends over once this week”.

“Oh, hmm, well than, I guess enjoy your party!”. I stood their for another moment feeling somewhat foolish, but more so envious.

His calm deminar, happy outlook and approachable glow was amazing. And there I was worried for him purchasing the same items I purchase every friday evening.

“Keep it real man, keep it real real!” He said as he walked off into the friday evening hustle bustle. Armed with all he needs for now, for the moment. The happiest person Ive ever met.

 

 

benchmates

“Sweet” I said enthusiastically as he agreed “But first il just roll a quick cigarette”

The night had more less fallen by this stage and the path along the river was glowing in the clear moonlit sky. You could make out the the trees and still see the final trimming of coloured leaves hanging on to the edge of their branches. Very few leaves were left on the trees as the seasonal change was in full swing, meaning that we trudged through the remains of the leaves, making a crisp sound everytime we took a step.

“Im sorry, I am terrible with names, what did you say your name was?”

“Christy, well my actual name is Christian” I responded sarcastically, “though I see myself as an atheist so I figured the christian thing to do would be to shorten it to christy” and I put my hand into my pocket to take out my lighter and spark up my cigarette.

“You mentioned you had big dreams while in school, What were those dreams?” Curiously I asked. I figured that Nick had a specific dream that may have fell by the way side but to my surprise he answered ” None really in particular, Well, Nothing extraordinarily special. Travel the world, Meet the girl of your dreams, become a world famous drummer, that kind of thing you know?”

“Wow, you play drums?”

He smiled at me as he replied ” Nah, but iv always wanted to.”

“I mean, happiness, My dreams all circulated around happiness, and its just something i don’t think I’ve felt in a while. Flat,Lifeless I feel like everyone around me seems to be, as you would say making progress.”

A dog, A Beautiful little corgy made his way over to us and decided he wanted to join us  on our walk, we both welcomed him but his owner quickly called him back, leaving Nick with the opportunity to explain to me more about his current wellbeing.

“But I don’t see it as progress, Yes their achieving things and seem to be actively pursuing something, but I don’t think they realise what their pursuing and i definitely don’t think these achievements are bringing them happiness.”

“What kind of achievements?” I asked inquizzitively.

By now Nick was super relaxed and I feel the walk was easing his tension even more. As we briskly walked through the leaves Nicks confidence seem to grow and he was becoming a lot more open.

“graduating college, Promotions at work. You know yourself. The things people my age should be doing”

I stopped and searched for a stone to skim into the river. “Perfect, she’s a beauty, not to thin and perfectly circular! Thats strange”,” Who tells people your age what you should be doing?” and I skimmed my stone successfully into the river, it was dark but I’m pretty sure i managed six skips.It could  have been eight or nine but it was to dark to tell.

Nick paused and again I could see him struggle to come up with an answer, but this time it was fair enough to be bit hesitant as it was not an easy answer.

” I have great admiration for people who seem to be making progress in their lives, but a huge sadness for those who are blinded by the light, and stay on the same track, in a looping wheel never to break free and experience the through beauty of this world. Expectations are unrealistic, from a young age were thought to work hard,study hard, get educated and move in one solid direction throughout this lifetime,and at the end of it all we can retire, knowing that we successfully contributed to society,made a decent income and than relax in our final years with our hard earned money from a lifetime of grafting.”

Nick stopped and began to look out over the river.

“But its al bullshit”I remarked ” Where is the beauty of circulating on a progressive wheel, Its when you go off the beaten track where you find the real hidden gems. In order to stumble across these gems, we must get lost from time to time. But like always, well eventually come upon a thing of beauty, just let it fall into place, enjoy the journey, take the pain and the suffering, hold onto it, don’t dwell on it, but hold on to it so that the next time your lost, you’ll have a map to guide you back to safety.

“I can’t believe this” Nick said joyfully still looking out at the river but now reaching his hand into his pocket. “I can’t believe I met you, your amazing” He praised me.

Taking his hand out of his pocket he took out an envelope folded in half.

My heart sank, the blood drained from my body and I instantly felt sick. It was as if the world around me stopped, I could not move and All i could do was stare at Nick in a panic.

He unfolded the envelope and held it in his hands, sliding it through his fingers for a moment or so, but it felt like decades.

I had realised that Nick seemed bit off, although I never met hi before he just seemed like he wasn’t himself all evening. It was unusual, we were total strangers, we barely knew each other a half an hour, yet a bond and fluidity built up between us and it was as though we were old friends, meeting up after not seeing each other in awhile.

He looked at the envelope in his hands holding the corners with his fingertips, before tearing it right down the middle. I could see his eyes had watered up and now  their was tears flowing gently down his flush cheeks.

“I came here this evening and thought that i would be leaving this note under a stone on the bench you were sitting on. Ive been carrying it around with me all week, but today was the day i thought i would part with this letter. And i figured this note would be found quite some time before Id been found.”

This time it was me that was caught for words. I stood their feeling frightened, frightened for Nick and worried that my advice, or whatever it was I blabbered on  about for the past half an hour seemed like complete nonsense to Nick.

He continued to tear the envelope into many shreds. He paused again and took a deep breath before throwing the pieces of paper into the river.

“Thank you Christy,” He said as he looked at me with a smile and sense of relief in his face. “Thank you!”

 

 

Benchmates

Nick and I had known each other at this stage for 10 minutes at best, with roughly 7 of those minutes spent in an unsettling silence.

“What brings me here, pfft.” reluctantly he responded. he began to play with his hands and seemed to be searching for the right answer. It was not a quiz, nor a difficult question. Well it shouldn’t have been a difficult question but within Nick reluctancy the complexity of his situation became more apparent.

With a quiver in his voice and not an ounce of confidence in his tone he eventually mustered up the courage,” Ilove it here, i come here quite a lot actually.”

Now, seems as this was my favourite place in the world, i knew all the familiar faces, and Nick was definitely not one of them.

“Me too,” I proceeded. “Its great here, you’ve got the nature, the many beautiful walkways and of course the droves of happy people you see ambling on by, just enjoying the tranquility”

I  think he began to realise at this stage i spend a lot more time at this bench than he does and backtracked. ” I guess i just needed bit of fresh air, time to clear my head”

“Ahh, their we go, no better place to clear the old thinker than down here!”

To shift the mode abit as i sensed Nick was again becoming quite tensed up I explained to him why i loved the bench so much. I declared how i felt that the bench was more or less mine, seems as every time i came passing by, it was free and ready for me to come and do some pondering.

“So what do you do for fun?” Nick asked inquisitively again beginning to relax.

I pathed Him on the back and with an excitement in my voice said” There we go, now your beginning to get it!”

“Fun, hmm. Well I like to bake. Although i definitely don’t do it enough, but when i do i always have great fun! Jokingly I said and than followed with ” But on a more regular basis, I like to actually just come to places like this and relax. Its the most fun I can have. I also enjoy a couple of beers and between you and me, I don’t mind an old puff every now and again, or again and again” and we both laughed, Nick looking at me bit warily due to my complete honesty.

“Im not to sure what fun is anymore” he said quite seriously but still with a smile on his face lingering from the banter we were having.

The smile slowly began to draw smaller and he continued ” I feel the joy of everything has just disappeared” I noticed things to become more serious between us again, but Nick seemed more relaxed and as though he was ready to share bit more as to why he was actually coming to the bench.

Not wanting to rush him or interrupt the flow, i figured humour was the best way to keep my new friend Nick Relaxed. ” You mean like, You feel like your Kaputt! I asked lightheartly.

“Kaputt, whats Kaputt?

I smiled back, “Kaputt is broken in german, do you feel like your broken.”

He took a moment to let the question sink in Looked at me smiled and said, “Nein, ich bin nicht Kaputt! Jesus, I should have remembered that, Mr,Barry my old german teacher wouldn’t be too happy if he was to hear that.”

“mmm, i can’t remember half of what i learned in school, another problem with our wonderful progressive society” I said as i reached into my pocket to grab a packer of dry roasted peanuts from my pocket.

Offering a handful to Nick as he duelly obliged i asked how exactly he meant by the joy of everything being gone.

“Well, it used to all seem so easy. You go to school, do the average bit to get by and hold onto your dreams. You’ve got your friends, your parents, its all so cozy. The big world only seems like a wonderful place, full of magic and oppurtunity.”

I butted in but quickly regretted it.” theirs plenty of magic in the world, this right here is magical”. He didn’t agree nor disagree but i broke his train of conversation.

After a moment I stood and suggested we walk together, down the bank of the river before it got to dark.

Benchmates

Beautiful Day!

Hello.

Its beautiful here isn’t it.

Just some of the many remarks passers by would use to salute me as I sat their on my bench, over looking the fast flowing river meandering blissfully through the valley, While the warm sun gently began to tuck itself under the thick fluffy clouds, to gain some rest before peaking its head out again early in the morning to salute us all with its warm glow.

However its not the river, nor the sunset or even the friendly other nature enthusiasts that grasped my attention that evening.

“Excuse me, Do you mind if I take a seat?”

“Sure,No Problem” I said,I smiled and as i lifted my head to welcome my new friend to the bench I could not help but notice a frightened figure joining me on this wonderful bench.

“Beautiful Isn’t it” excitedly Trying to strike up some conversation.

“Mmm, I guess so.” drolly he answered.

We sat their for a couple of minutes, the water continued to flow, the sun maintained its journey and the awkwardness between Us grew.

My bench mate, I guessed was in his late teens. perhaps early twenties.

“I don’t get it” eventually he exclaimed, ” I mean, shouldn’t it be easy, This. All of this. It works like clockwork. Its as if its all here to remind us of how simple life can be. How beautiful it all can be.How warm and soothing it all can be.” He said almost painfully while peering out over the sunset. “Yet, its all so complicated.”

Unsure of how to reply “Just take in the simplicity of this right now, here, Us, the river, the nature, the sunset. Just really be here right now to enjoy its beauty and warmth, feel the love of the trees and the inspiration of crashing through the river.”

He looked at me and smiled, before offering his hand out to formally greet Me.

“Nick”

“Hey Nick, Im Christy” I replied as we shook hands.

While we shook hands I couldn’t help but notice his weak grip, high-strung shoulders and deathly look upon his face engulfed with a thick clammy layer of sweat nestled in the palm of his hand.

“Is their something on your mind Nick?”

“Mmm, Well I just don’t get it, any of this!” hesitantly he replied.

At this stage i began to realise that their was something really bothering Nick.

We sat their quietly for some more minutes before I decided to break the silence, it was not necessarily an awkward silence, yet I was anxious to converse some more with my new bench mate before he would get up and leave, perhaps even more bewildered than when he first came to the bench.

“Ill tell you what I don’t get Nick” leaning forward to grab his attention.”We claim to live in a progressive society” To this day I’m still quite unsure where the words came from, but my words seemed to build up an instant rapport with Nick,” Progressive, to my knowledge, not word for word, but to my knowledge the meaning of progressive is to be moving forward, striving for improvement, not necessarily striving for more. In fact, its my opinion that less is more.But in this so called progressive society were expected to jump on all the latest trends, own the biggest and best, be constantly  connected. Inundated with pollutions, SALE!SALE!SALE!, Pressures to work, earn and survive. Were seen as aliens if were that small bit different.”

Nick Looked at me with a glare in his eye and i knew a bond had been made.

I smiled ” I mean, I’m pretty sure that for kids aged 16 and under, the classic food pyramid and the importance of having 5 A day, is insuring to get 5 great selfies of your apple iPhone, this will surely keep the doctor away.”

We both laughed hysterically before Nick asked me what I do for work.

“AAhh thats irrelevant Nick, unimportant, Where I work isn’t who I am man. Its another hiccup in our progressive society i believe. When being introduced to someone we always want to know where they work, or what they study, or their plans for the future.”

“But why not just simply ask, who are you? what makes you happy? something personal to truly strike up a conversation.” Ive always believed this to be the best way to get to know a new friend, I think no matter how unprejudice someone is, or non judgemental, their can always be a separation in class when someone finds out your job, or what you study or what you hope to achieve.

“Strip down the barriers, ask your new acquaintance something personal, something which will bring us both into deep conversation”.

Nick now looking intrigued yet confused searched for something personal to ask me. and i gather from the amount of time it was taking him to swish a few questions through his mind he wasn’t still 100% sure of what it is I meant.

“Relax man, Its easy” I sat back to get more comfortable on the bench, threw my arms around the back of the arm rest and outstretched my legs and crossed them in front of me.

“What brings you to this bench on this beautiful autumn evening?” I asked while grinning out at the now moonlit sky.

 

 

Presence,me,time and energy

I don't value money
I have no mass on things
its your time and your presence
that happiness brings

Add me on Facebook
and well have a chat
whats happened to meeting for coffee
we've forgotten about that

You've worked hard 
you've earned your degree
its now time for business
thats difference between you and me

christmas is coming
its getting quite near
not a present have i bought
yet I'm filled with christmas cheer

can we meet for a drink
possibly a few,
but i think well enjoy it
from a different point of view

joue phone in your hand 
your heads in the iCloud
did you hear what i just said,
NO, your texting instead

I look to the trees
and i find hope in the sky
my dream is some day 
we will be the same,You and I

Must buy this 
and i still have to get that
have you not thought this person
would be simply happy to meet for a chat.

I ask you to stop
and for a moment just think
our people and planet
it is energy that
is the link.

Freedom. Shit, what next?

Gather,grow,develop. Its been awhile!!

My lack of writing is symbolic of my mind frame and outlook within the past few months, few years. In this ever changing world I have had some huge changes, From spiritual awakening to no existing practices, humming and hawing, lying in bed thinking tomorrow will be the day, I will exercise, meditate read bit and even maybe write something.

Well, my daily rituals have been as prolific as my writing, my creativity  has blossomed on a parallel with the naked tree outside my window, holding on for mere survival in this cold yet beautiful winter here in Coburg Germany.

A small city, where i moved to 8 or 9 months back and picked up a job cooking in a kitchen, which i really enjoy.

When I first arrived in coburg I loved it for its small size, beautiful cobblestone  walkways, sometimes I feel like I’m in a scene of a walt disney winter wonderland movie, yet maybe happiness has since been in decline.

I have learned a lot about myself and my needs in the last 12 months or so. I finally got money together and moved from Ireland, spending some time travelling before been lucky enough to land a nice job here next to my girlfriend. In the first few months it even brought added opportunity with me being invited to be chief editor of an up and coming website, but that, like my enthusiasm has fell by the wayside.

From years feeling trapped, and hoping to be free, slowly turned into a wave of happiness opportunity and energy.

Now, I am lost. This is about the only word that can describe the mayhem going through my mind. (mayhem might be bit of an exaggerated description, thoughts may be more accurate, but not half as intriguing 😛 )

Once, for quite awhile I felt trapped, lacked freedom. But with that freedom came a totally unexpected emotion of being lost. I guess it make since.

I just wanted something new, to see the world, anything to get out. I have always had great dreams. I still do, somewhere buried in the confusion of my mind.

But what is this something new? new job, new location, new friends and scenery, new nature, new house. Its all great. But the mid 20s battle of what the fuck am I doing here keeps me up till late at night, drains my energy and holds me back from productivity and more importantly creativity.

Its strange, when you need the sunlight most, it tends to be the time we turn away from, draw the curtains, and sit in our despair.

Well, today is a new day. Today I have started to do the things I keep saying I will do tomorrow.

To any kind comments likes or thoughts towards my blog posts thus far is greatly appreciated . Anyone feedback or anyone in a similar situation feel free to connect.

Heres to more blogging, clarity, sunlight and making the most of this precious time we have on this planet.