Gather,grow,develop. Its been awhile!!
My lack of writing is symbolic of my mind frame and outlook within the past few months, few years. In this ever changing world I have had some huge changes, From spiritual awakening to no existing practices, humming and hawing, lying in bed thinking tomorrow will be the day, I will exercise, meditate read bit and even maybe write something.
Well, my daily rituals have been as prolific as my writing, my creativity has blossomed on a parallel with the naked tree outside my window, holding on for mere survival in this cold yet beautiful winter here in Coburg Germany.
A small city, where i moved to 8 or 9 months back and picked up a job cooking in a kitchen, which i really enjoy.
When I first arrived in coburg I loved it for its small size, beautiful cobblestone walkways, sometimes I feel like I’m in a scene of a walt disney winter wonderland movie, yet maybe happiness has since been in decline.
I have learned a lot about myself and my needs in the last 12 months or so. I finally got money together and moved from Ireland, spending some time travelling before been lucky enough to land a nice job here next to my girlfriend. In the first few months it even brought added opportunity with me being invited to be chief editor of an up and coming website, but that, like my enthusiasm has fell by the wayside.
From years feeling trapped, and hoping to be free, slowly turned into a wave of happiness opportunity and energy.
Now, I am lost. This is about the only word that can describe the mayhem going through my mind. (mayhem might be bit of an exaggerated description, thoughts may be more accurate, but not half as intriguing 😛 )
Once, for quite awhile I felt trapped, lacked freedom. But with that freedom came a totally unexpected emotion of being lost. I guess it make since.
I just wanted something new, to see the world, anything to get out. I have always had great dreams. I still do, somewhere buried in the confusion of my mind.
But what is this something new? new job, new location, new friends and scenery, new nature, new house. Its all great. But the mid 20s battle of what the fuck am I doing here keeps me up till late at night, drains my energy and holds me back from productivity and more importantly creativity.
Its strange, when you need the sunlight most, it tends to be the time we turn away from, draw the curtains, and sit in our despair.
Well, today is a new day. Today I have started to do the things I keep saying I will do tomorrow.
To any kind comments likes or thoughts towards my blog posts thus far is greatly appreciated . Anyone feedback or anyone in a similar situation feel free to connect.
Heres to more blogging, clarity, sunlight and making the most of this precious time we have on this planet.