A day in the life Of a retail sales assistant

8.45. AM- Work starts in 45 minutes.

Breakfast, fast shower

9.28 AM- Clocked in

9.35 AM- Manager, OK guys, its very important today that we push these new neck supporting cushions. It is crucial to sell as many units of this as possible. Head office could pop in at anytime over the next few weeks, Aaaaand be aware of mystery shoppers.! We scored 91% last time which is not good enough, no reason why we can’t be hitting 100% overtime

9.36 AM-Employee A Whispers to Employee B, MMM i would have got 100% if we had any bit of fucking product knowledge

9.37 AM-Employee A, Aww nice, what are the benefits of this cushion? is their any certain medical information we should know to make our customers aware and be sure they are getting the right product

9.37 AM-Manager, “Im not quite sure, heres a sales pitch sent down from head office, study it, use it, it is your bible.”

10.05 AM-employee B, “Hello hows it going?…”

10.06 AM-Customer, “NO!!!!”

10.06 AM- Employee B Mutters, Hello, hows it going? NO!!! D FUCK kinda response is that.

10.08 AM-Customer, “Excuse me sir I’m wondering if you can help me…”

10.08 AM-Employee B shrugging off the disrespect and arrogance of the asshole politely replying with a smile on his face, pure professional “Yes Sir, How can I help you?

11.15 AM- 15 minute break Employee A, Sprints to the closest shop, checks wallet just enough for a €3.50 meal deal

11.29 AM rushing end of food Employee A can’t help but think “fuck it I really wish we had 20 minutes”

12.11 PM Manager speaking with Employee A- “Ok Gerard from head office is on his way, he could be here at any minute, Heres a disinfectant spray containing all sorts of harmful acids and detergents, quickly run around on your hands and knees and scrape the rust off all the shelves, if you see anything out of order put it back in its right place, no messing around now this is crucial.”

12.13 PM-Manager calling Employee A- “Can you please serve this lady?,she’s been waiting for service for the past 5 minutes, this is not good enough.”

12.13 PM-Manager to Employee A- “Why is their returns still on the shop floor?, you know they need to be taken to the warehouse.”

12.13PM Manager once again speaking to Employee A, “Where is that report from last months sales figures??”

1.00 PM-Employee A- One hour lunch break.

2.00 PM back on the shop floor

2.04 PM- Gerard Arrives.

2.06 PM- Employee B “Hello Gerard My name is…”

2.06 PM- Gerard cuts across- “Who laid out that gondola its an absolute disgrace?, Heres how it should look. Hands over a briefing from “head office””

2.53 PM -Customer addressing Employee B, “Excuse me sir, Who can I speak to about this? Its very misleading, unto 50%  off items instore today it says and i can only find items with 20% or 30% off.”

2.54 PM-Employee B to customer  “MMM, I can only apologise on behalf of the store, I do not make out the Sale signs or pick which items go on sale, it all comes down from head office and we just follow their guidelines.”

2.54 PM-Customer, “Well thats no good to me, how am i supposed to know what items are 50% off?”

2.55 PM-Employee B, Ready to blow up but takes a deep breath and again proves how outstanding he is at his job,while subtly getting in his little dig. “Well If you find an item that is 50% off it will be clearly tagged just like the 20% off items and also the very same as the 30% off items. Smiles, “Can I help you maybe find something thats 50% off?”

2.55 PM-Customer, NO!!! im fine

3.08 PM-Employee A just has just came up with the next big tech invention when, Customer “excuse me sir, do ye have these in a size 8?”

3.08PM – Employee A Shuffles into the store room, Idea has came and went, but at at least he was able to find that €15 size 8 shoe.

4.54 PM- Manager snidely referring to Employee B- ” And how many of these cushions have you sold today? Don’t forget who pays your wages, get the finger out and start pushing these cushions!!”

5.20 PM- Employee A speaking with Employee B, Fuck that, Im going straight to the pub at 6.00.


To anyone working in retail, i salute you! 🙂

To anyone who isn’t aware, staff members in retail stores believe it or not are actually people. When the shop was built and they installed the shelve, the computer systems etc, the staff members were not just built in. They sleep, they have feelings, and they really do need things like food and water to survive like any human being, a small bit of respect and compassion towards those working in retail goes a long way. You would be surprise how much a genuine thank you and a smile goes! 🙂


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